The Worst *

* This week
THE WORST SEASON FINALE (THIS WEEK) SPOILER ALERT! The last ten minutes of the Breaking Bad season finale were… you guessed it, the worst. So terrible, in fact, it ruined the whole episode for me. I’ve kind of felt like this whole season had been going off the rails, which is relative for a show that requires quite a bit of disbelief to be suspended in general. But Walt has been annoyingly inconsistent, Skyler has been extra irritating and then they went and made one of my favorite new characters, Mike, disappear without any updates for two eps (as Videogum pointed out last week). Anyway, back to the finale of the finale, (actual spoiler alert!) the make-up on Gus’s half-blown-off face was like some Tales From the Crypt shit. Total camp, completely random and the most idiotic send-off for one of the most quietly badass characters ever. And then they follow it up with Walt acting like a Bruce Willis cowboy showboat telling Skyler “I won” on the phone. With the DEA in the next room! Come on guys! Step it up.

THE WORST SEASON FINALE (THIS WEEK)

SPOILER ALERT! The last ten minutes of the Breaking Bad season finale were… you guessed it, the worst. So terrible, in fact, it ruined the whole episode for me. I’ve kind of felt like this whole season had been going off the rails, which is relative for a show that requires quite a bit of disbelief to be suspended in general. But Walt has been annoyingly inconsistent, Skyler has been extra irritating and then they went and made one of my favorite new characters, Mike, disappear without any updates for two eps (as Videogum pointed out last week). Anyway, back to the finale of the finale, (actual spoiler alert!) the make-up on Gus’s half-blown-off face was like some Tales From the Crypt shit. Total camp, completely random and the most idiotic send-off for one of the most quietly badass characters ever. And then they follow it up with Walt acting like a Bruce Willis cowboy showboat telling Skyler “I won” on the phone. With the DEA in the next room! Come on guys! Step it up.

THE WORST DINNER I MADE (THIS WEEK) Inspired by two different, both delicious, pasta dishes featuring mushrooms and corn that I’ve had at Buttermilk Channel and Vinegar Hill House, I tried to make my own variation this Sunday. Only instead of using regular pasta, I decided to use spagetti squash. Things started out ok - my portobellos cooked up real nice with some garlic, sea salt, white pepper, fresh corn and a judicious amount of butter to finish. But the end combo was, in fact, the worst. No amount of pecorino romano or black pepper could save it. Meanwhile, I screwed up my brussels sprouts with too much balsamic. All that effort for a crap dinner. Pictured above in leftover form for more dramatic effect. The. Worst.

THE WORST DINNER I MADE (THIS WEEK)

Inspired by two different, both delicious, pasta dishes featuring mushrooms and corn that I’ve had at Buttermilk Channel and Vinegar Hill House, I tried to make my own variation this Sunday. Only instead of using regular pasta, I decided to use spagetti squash. Things started out ok - my portobellos cooked up real nice with some garlic, sea salt, white pepper, fresh corn and a judicious amount of butter to finish. But the end combo was, in fact, the worst. No amount of pecorino romano or black pepper could save it. Meanwhile, I screwed up my brussels sprouts with too much balsamic. All that effort for a crap dinner. Pictured above in leftover form for more dramatic effect. The. Worst.

THE WORST BANNER AD (THIS WEEK) “If you like _____, you’ll love _____!” Is there any lazier construction for a copywriter to utilize? (Side bar: Is there anything worse than using “utilize” instead of “use”? Answer: No, there isn’t. But that’s a whole other post.) Getting back to the original question, the answer to that is no. There is no lazier way to sell your product than to tell people they will love it if they like the general category if falls under. Although I suppose this is fitting since Groupon’s offers are pretty much the worst these days. How many times are they going to offer me lazer hair removal and a massage at some Midtown hellhole with unanimously lousy Yelp reviews? I actually bought a massage and spa deal from them once and needless to say it was terrible. Not quite the worst massage I’ve ever had, but up there. Then the other day they offered me a Groupon for TGI Fridays. In New York City! That’s the worst.

THE WORST BANNER AD (THIS WEEK)

“If you like _____, you’ll love _____!” Is there any lazier construction for a copywriter to utilize? (Side bar: Is there anything worse than using “utilize” instead of “use”? Answer: No, there isn’t. But that’s a whole other post.) Getting back to the original question, the answer to that is no. There is no lazier way to sell your product than to tell people they will love it if they like the general category if falls under. Although I suppose this is fitting since Groupon’s offers are pretty much the worst these days. How many times are they going to offer me lazer hair removal and a massage at some Midtown hellhole with unanimously lousy Yelp reviews? I actually bought a massage and spa deal from them once and needless to say it was terrible. Not quite the worst massage I’ve ever had, but up there. Then the other day they offered me a Groupon for TGI Fridays. In New York City! That’s the worst.